Why is it that some of us are so proud we'd rather hurt than heal?
What makes a person good...kind...bad...mean?
Sometimes I wish I'd been born an animal of some kind...maybe a horse, a beautiful Appaloosa, or even a hawk like a kestrel or red tail...but I'm afraid of heights.
Imagine a bird that's afraid of heights.
But people are evn more cruel to an animal than another human being.
It took me years to realize I was in a no win situation.
There are still days I'm pretty sad...pissed...miserable, even.
I am officially one of those older persons that knows what they are talking about.
Wisdom sucks.
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5 comments:
First place, you're not an "older" person. You haven't lived enough to qualify for that title.
Second place, wisdom is subjective.
It is colored by your experiences and your reactions to them. Wisdom is almost always over-rated.
Third, for every negative there are dozens of positives.
Neither depression nor happiness are here to stay. One seems to last forever, but doesn't. The other seems to quickly flee and maybe it does.
people do treat animals better than people too often. i have never been cruel to an animal; i have, however, been intentionally cruel to a human who had hurt my heart and i have no regret about my cruelty to that person. i still feel as if i lost in all ways; by being hurt, by allowing the hurt but mostly by stooping to the level of lashing out with words that hurt to the bone. true or not doesn't matter; i should have been bigger than to spew venom not because i so much cared about the fool but because it hurt and i didn't expect it.
i think a lot about being alone, (or maybe Alone is better), because that is what i have chosen ultimately. i'm not sure if the greatest guy ever fell into my front yard if i could allow myself to be with someone. i don't think i would do good in a partnership; i have immense trust problems that would not be fair to inflict on another. but i think about the Alone, how difficult it will be, how much i hate the nights i sleep alone now, and how fast that damn clock seems to move.
a mutual friend of ours says he is damn tired of being alone. i hear the words. i understand the meaning. i understand the desire and how tiresome Alone has become for him but just to hear another say it out loud is enough to make cold fear hit me. but mostly it makes me sad to be an open person in so many ways but so closed to that.
sometimes circumstance gets us here but really, i think, for myself at least, i always chose it even when i thought i was doing otherwise. i think i always knew that Alone was the only way it could be for the "future". i didn't say i liked it; i just see it and now i can admit what it is and why and that i got what i asked for...
oh hell didn't notice your spam until i posted... great... don't bother to click it; i was looking for a way to zap it but not that sophisticated to follow the trail to jerks unlimited...
Wisdom won't necessarily bring happiness, but it lets you see the bullshit - I've never been sure if that's a good thing or not - LOL!
I'm an animal, but only in the bedroom or shower...or back seat of a car...or anywhere I can.
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