LEOPARD APPALOOSA..

Why is it that some of us are so proud we'd rather hurt than heal?

What makes a person good...kind...bad...mean?

Sometimes I wish I'd been born an animal of some kind...maybe a horse, a beautiful Appaloosa, or even a hawk like a kestrel or red tail...but I'm afraid of heights.

Imagine a bird that's afraid of heights.

But people are evn more cruel to an animal than another human being.

It took me years to realize I was in a no win situation.

There are still days I'm pretty sad...pissed...miserable, even.

I am officially one of those older persons that knows what they are talking about.

Wisdom sucks.

MISSING

I don't like sleeping alone at night.

I do enjoy my time to myself.

But at night, when I lay my head on my pillow,

I miss having someone next to me.

A warm body.

That certain scent.

The way he breathes and moves in bed.

But now I have to rely on memory.

Fantasy.

But those get old.

I want someone.

Who wants me.

Who will lay me down beneath him and touch me.

Kiss me.

Taste me.

I want his weight on me.

I want him to touch me.

I want him inside me.

Deep.

Hard.

Taking my breath away.

With every thrust.

I want his breath on me.

His moans in my ear.

I want him romantic earlier.

And an animal now.

God I miss someone...

JUST WORDS..

The other day in conversation, someone said something that made me catch my breath.

He said it after I talked back to him, both of us being sarcastic and a little playful in words.

"Atta girl.."

You may think it's nothing, but those two words, along with "That's my girl" actually get me wet.

Once my ex said those last three, right after I came for him, his fingers doing what they were so good at.

I have no idea why, but the effect they have on me seems a bit strange.

I love it.

And I look forward to hearing them again.

SPRING...FINALLY

Everyone seems busy with life lately.

Including myself.

Plus the fact that nothing interesting seems to be going on.

I've kept in touch with certain ones.

Watcher will be up here next month.

Buffalo in the fall, I hope.

It's good to have friends.

It's hard when one of them is your ex.

Especially when he still wants more.

But life is good, as Buffalo says.

And guilt will not be living here anymore.