THIS IS FOR YOU, JOHN SMITH

After all this time, to finally see you again...

Even more beautiful than before...your face...your smile....the way you look at me...

I had planned on leaning against you and just taking you in...your scent...your heart beating against my cheek...your very presence...

But I am selfish, and I want you...

Such a thoughtful lover, you please me with your mouth and your hands...and I love everything you do, but I want you...

I am so selfish...

Thank God...finally you are inside me...so deep and hard...and I have no idea how often my body reacted to yours, and I don't care...

We fit so perfectly, don't we?

Every slow, sensuous push...every deep, hard thrust...makes my body do things that only you can make it do...

I want to please you...I want to drink you and watch you above me as you give in to my mouth, but I am such a selfish woman..

I want you...

You hold onto me as we lay together, connected together in more than one way...and I watch your face as you slowly move into me, telling me you are close...I love that look...so open and honest as you begin to grow even more, and the moans you make as you give me that gift from you that I have wanted for years...that warmth and wet that I feel as you push as deep as you can...

I have you...such an intimate way to be with someone...and you lay with me for just a little while...

Before you have to shower and leave me...

And finally I can sleep...the smell of us and the feel of you wet and warm between my legs...

Knowing you do the things you do to me, does it ever make you long for me again?

I miss you already, John Smith. It goes without saying...all you have to do is say...soon.

SINCE I MOVED AWAY

I have received quite an education.

I know who my true friends are. I know who I can trust, and who I thought I could trust.

I miss my friends. I miss my family.

I still miss him.

Nothing will become of it. I have learned that now. I have dealt with the tears, the depression, the anger.

I'm ready to make a new life. New job, new friends, new everything.

Since moving here, I have tried to meet others, tried to find someone I could enjoy being with sexually. Unfortunately, there haven't been too many that want the job, so to speak. It seems some guys just can't handle a lot of affection. I think they think I am getting serious.

I'm not getting serious. I am not that gullible. I learned a long time ago that love at first sight is just some romantic notion, and that no matter how much you enjoy someone, you just can't get too attached.

However, lust is a totally differnt animal.

Lust will make you do things you wouldn't do otherwise. It will take over your senses (and sometimes common sense), and turn one into a sexual vampire. At least, that's what it makes me feel like.

I get hungry...ravenous, even. I want and I want NOW.

This is, of course, perfect when you have a partner you can share it with. How lucky can one be when the other has such a need to fuck and do it constantly? To meet someone you are attracted to and complete that meeting with a union of such intensity you can hardly breathe.

If it happens to be somewhere that other people may frequent at times, well then, so be it.

To be caught...just may be the ultimate thrill.

THREE YEARS

Three years since I've been on here. I guess I was under the impression I had my shit together, so to speak.

Does anyone ever get it together?

I have looked at posts from the past and all the people who used to visit me here. They, too seem to have found life a bit overwhelming at times.

I hope they find their way back.

I think I am going to stay awhile...again.