SAFE

Maybe I'd become a little emotional, or maybe he'd thought I was hysterical. Contrary to what some may believe, I am not a drama queen. My ex was always that way when we argued. Sometimes I wondered if he wasn't acting a part when we fought. Needless to say, if I get upset enough, I can be a bit animated, and here I was, my back against my bedroom wall, tears in my eyes, a man's hand on my throat.

A man so big in stature, strong enough to hurt me if he ever wanted to, he'd never caused me one bit of pain. Many times both of his hands had brought me much pleasure, and even though he may have seemed threatening to anyone looking in at this picture, that hand on my throat was holding me almost delicately, with his thumb gently rubbing along the line of my jaw, calming me down. He, too, was upset, and I could feel it, see it on his face. I'd told him something he refused to believe, and seeing how something that is supposed to make someone happy actually upset them, made me a little defensive.

I saw tears in his eyes, and my hands came up to touch his, gently covering him as I looked up into his eyes. I reached up to touch his face, and he took my other hand in his, squeezing as he told me "no."

I felt his hold on my throat loosen even more, and I slowly pulled his hand away just enough to hold it against my cheek.

"I can't change it. Please just accept it."

His grip on my hand and the pressure on my cheek grew stronger as he became more insistant.

"NO. I can't return that..."

"Why can't you just enjoy it?"

I held him against my cheek as I closed my eyes. I heard him sigh as I kissed his palm, and when I looked up at him again, he moved closer to me, both hands now on my skin. He whispered my name as he wiped away my tears, and slowly I leaned into him, opening his shirt just enough to kiss him, once, twice, soft kisses on his chest. I heard a quiet moan, and I stopped and spoke, knowing he could feel my hot breath on his skin.

"I belong to you, now."

I heard him almost gasp as his breathing grew deeper. I kissed a line up to his collarbone. His hands were holding my arms.

"Why can't you just enjoy this?"

I leaned back to look up at him, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He held onto me tighter as I reached for him for a kiss, and suddenly he was holding me against him as his mouth covered mine. He could always take my breath away with his kiss, and this time was no exception, yet he wasn't as gentle as he usually is. I didn't care.

His hands slid down to my waist and against my back, pulling me against him roughly, and I could feel him, thick and very hard. He pulled out of our kiss, his hands starting to undress me, almost tearing, and when I spoke his name he shushed me. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the wall, enjoying the way he touched me. Then he seemed to jerk e towards him, and when I opened my eyes, he pulled me away and started to lead me to the dresser about five feet away. I saw his other hand unbuckling his belt, then the zipper, and in one long motion he turned to me, pulled me close, and picked me up, setting me on the dresser facing him. He spread my legs so he could stand between them, and looking into my eyes as he pushed his clothes to the floor, he finally spoke.

"You belong to me?"

"Yes," I whimpered, and his hands pulled me to the edge.

"You want me to enjoy it...everything.."

"YES"

In one thrust...me being pulled onto him and he pushing into me, he was deep, and
I couldn't stop the scream as I took him. His hands held my ass as he pushed into me, nothing tender about this, and the bruises I knew I'd have later would show that. All I could do was brace myself against the top of the dresser, and I started to cum on him, his moans telling me he felt it.

"That's mine, isn't it?" he asked as he fucked me hard, and I barely managed a "YES" before I started to cum again. My moans matched his, and now we were just moving, no words anymore, moving hard and fast and soon he was exploding inside me...his hands holding me so tightly it hurt, his thrusts almost stronger than when he first took me. As he pumped into me, his arms went around me, and his mouth over my ear only added to my pleasure as I heard his moans and groans. As we stayed that way, me on the edge and him between my legs, both of us still throbbing, I told him not to let me go just yet.

He hugged me closer, whispered in my ear, and I felt so safe with him, I drifted off for a moment or two.

I do belong to you, baby.

APPETITE

Dammit...I get these cravings at such weird times of the day.

But I guess they always seem weird since I'm alone.

If I had someone...they could have me...any time of the day.

It used to be that way...once in a while a whole day.

Almost constant playing...all over the house.

Fucking...sucking...fingering...until we lay exhausted...a little nap, then back at it again.

Sometimes he'd be so tired, I would ride his cock while he lay there...hard as stone.

I would get myself off again and again, until I had to stop and rest.

God I'm so fucking hungry....

MAKE ME

I have discovered lately that the thought of someone in authority can really get me going.

I mean...

really...

really...

hot.

I know a man, a good friend with this incredibly deep, sexy voice (all he has to do is say, "hi, baby," and I have trouble speaking), who showed me a picture someone took of him at a wedding reception. He's smiling, and his dress jacket is open. He looks like he could be an agent of some kind...CIA, Secret Service, whatever.

All I could think of (and still imagine) is his hands holding me down while he takes me.

Or better yet, on my knees...

Then there's the cop thing...

A man capable of taking me to jail if I'm breaking the law..he has the authority.

Maybe even taking me...

Somewhere else...

To punish me...

For being bad.

I met a man last week...a fireman...we've seen each other a couple of times, but of course, since I like him, and since he's actually nice, he's still not over his girlfriend, and although I know what he's going through, he's making me crazy.

I was hoping he'd wear his gear for me...the pants with suspenders, the boots, and the hat...

And, well...you know..

Life can be so unfair...

DESPERATION

There's no beating around the bush.

I won't lie.

I am so fucking horny I'd do just about anything.

And by do I mean fuck.

I need cock...over and over and over.

I need to feel hands on me while someone is inside me.

A voice in my ear.

I need to be fucked, boinked, tapped, taken, screwed, banged, drilled....whatever you call it now.

This really sucks.

I NEED THIS

Nearly every morning I wake up with the same image in my head, and almost always hit the snooze for ten more minutes with him.

I'm on my back with his face above mine, his body on me, my legs open to him as he slowly, gently moves into me, every stroke making me quiver, his hands framing my face, a kiss on my lips as he moves again and this time we moan together, so close, both physically and emotionally, and as I feel him grow even more, he tells me...

"I love you..."

...and as a tear runs down my cheek, he wipes it away...and says it again...and again...and I realize this is what I wanted..

...but he has to mean it...pleeeze mean it...

AGAIN?

Sometimes things just don't seem fair.

You meet people on here all the time.

Some have become acquaintances, while others have become good friends.

You share lives and loves, dreams and fears, and sometimes you really need someone.

Some seem to be so far away, and some you just know you'd fall so hard for, so quickly.

Maybe I'm a sappy romantic...it certainly doesn't help me make good decisions sometimes.

There are times that it has made a fool of me.

But I like being that sappy, loving romantic.

It makes me the kind of person I am.

I have known men who really liked me...what I did with and for them, and how I reacted to them.

Plus the fact I'm fun to be with.

Some wanted to see me again; some wanted to see me for the first time, but being the sappy, romantic I am, I was in love and felt I should be faithful to someone even though he wasn't to me.

I like being that way. I want to be that way again.

I want to be there with you. I want to show you what it was like for him when he was with me, and know how fortunate he was, what a fool he was for losing me. You'll realize that not everyone is cruel and selfish, and maybe we can make a few memories that will always be special between us, before we go back to our lives apart.

God help me if I fall in love.

LEOPARD APPALOOSA..

Why is it that some of us are so proud we'd rather hurt than heal?

What makes a person good...kind...bad...mean?

Sometimes I wish I'd been born an animal of some kind...maybe a horse, a beautiful Appaloosa, or even a hawk like a kestrel or red tail...but I'm afraid of heights.

Imagine a bird that's afraid of heights.

But people are evn more cruel to an animal than another human being.

It took me years to realize I was in a no win situation.

There are still days I'm pretty sad...pissed...miserable, even.

I am officially one of those older persons that knows what they are talking about.

Wisdom sucks.

MISSING

I don't like sleeping alone at night.

I do enjoy my time to myself.

But at night, when I lay my head on my pillow,

I miss having someone next to me.

A warm body.

That certain scent.

The way he breathes and moves in bed.

But now I have to rely on memory.

Fantasy.

But those get old.

I want someone.

Who wants me.

Who will lay me down beneath him and touch me.

Kiss me.

Taste me.

I want his weight on me.

I want him to touch me.

I want him inside me.

Deep.

Hard.

Taking my breath away.

With every thrust.

I want his breath on me.

His moans in my ear.

I want him romantic earlier.

And an animal now.

God I miss someone...

JUST WORDS..

The other day in conversation, someone said something that made me catch my breath.

He said it after I talked back to him, both of us being sarcastic and a little playful in words.

"Atta girl.."

You may think it's nothing, but those two words, along with "That's my girl" actually get me wet.

Once my ex said those last three, right after I came for him, his fingers doing what they were so good at.

I have no idea why, but the effect they have on me seems a bit strange.

I love it.

And I look forward to hearing them again.

SPRING...FINALLY

Everyone seems busy with life lately.

Including myself.

Plus the fact that nothing interesting seems to be going on.

I've kept in touch with certain ones.

Watcher will be up here next month.

Buffalo in the fall, I hope.

It's good to have friends.

It's hard when one of them is your ex.

Especially when he still wants more.

But life is good, as Buffalo says.

And guilt will not be living here anymore.

I NEED TO PLACE AN ORDER...

It's one of those days again where I seem to have this terrible craving.

I hate getting like this when I'm alone.

It's almost physical.

The feeling of pure sexual energy.

Definitely the purest thing about me.

But it's something I enjoy possessing.

Even if it does make me crazy.

I need a fuck so bad...I can taste it.

SAME OLD STORY

It's terribly cold outside.

I'm staying in where it's warm.

All I need is a good man.

Someone who has a weekend to kill.

Someone who has turned off his cell phone...his pager...his urge to work a little extra.

Someone who has this need to be needed...wanted...taken for granted...taken advantage of.

Someone who needs to take whatever it is he wants.

Someone who has this insatiable appetite.

For me.


I am ready for you....

HAPPY DAY BEFORE VALENTINE'S DAY

I think I haven't really liked this "holiday" for several years now.

It always meant another day of seeing the truth about my life.

Fortunately for some, it's always a great day.

I wonder how many get proposals on this day?

Well, more power to you both.

I just hope that you both do it for the right reasons.

I just hope that you love each other and that you stay in love.

Once, while working retail, I waited on a man who was a little upset because his wife actually got pissed at him for buying her a diamond ring for Christmas, or her birthday...something like that, and the diamond was too little. She'd told him to take it back.

I thought he was joking, but he wasn't.

That's what divorce is for.

Do people fall for someone knowing they are this way, or do they get this way later?

What makes a person so selfish?

Is she beautiful? Are her blowjobs that good?

The beautiful wife who will only fuck you about once a month, maybe give you the occasional blowjob.

But doesn't swallow.

So maybe I'll be a bit depressed and pretend it's just another day. That's what I get for being such a sensitive fool, I guess.

But...I'm good...when I'm bad...which means there will always be someone who will think I'm worth something...maybe not the whole ring thing, but enough to warrant some affection...a fun night out...or in...once in a while a cozy night by the fire...or on the sofa...or maybe a trip somewhere together.

I like diamonds, gold...sapphires are my favorite. But I'd get more joy out of a kiss and a flower, than if someone spent a bunch of money on me.

I also love to fuck....and I do swallow.

TO BUILD A FIRE

This morning I took the dog outside and there was a beautiful snowfall.

I heard a bird in the distance, one that was very adamant about being heard.

I could have sworn I also heard an owl.

I told myself I am going to get out camping more this year, and if there's no one that wants to go with me, it will just be me and the "boys."

Maybe I should do that.

This counting on a man to make my day (or is it night) makes for a lot of disappointment.

Besides, I can always take B.O.B.

I can take care of myself; the dogs are great protection (at least great intimidation).

I can build a fire and cook my dinner.

Just give me a bottle of premixed margaritas and I'm set.

Maybe it's not so bad being by myself after all.



Valentine's Day is Tuesday.




Fuck.

I REALLY NEED SOMETHING...

There's nothing I want more than to be with him.

Sometimes I can't stand it...my breathing becomes labored and my heart feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest.

His arms hold me close to him, and I can feel his breathing, hear his heartbeat, and I'm lost in his embrace.

I feel his breath in my hair, hear him whisper those words I long to hear every day.

His strong hands lay me down and undress me, so sure of their purpose, exposing myself to him, and he sees my arousal.

These same hands touch me, making me gasp and moan, just a slight touch on each nipple, yet it's his mouth I crave.

He teases with his mouth, his tongue, and I moan as he moves lower, knowing what he will give to me.

The palms of his hands slide over my belly, then down each side just above my hips, and as he starts to hold them his mouth finds me, that center of me that has long been without attention, and as he brings me to him, I whisper his name...as he tastes me I whimper...as he licks I gasp...and when he sucks me in between his teeth, I surrender everything, everything that is already his.

Before I can make it back to this earth he releases me, and I open to him without thought...more in response to him, and he is so deep inside me, my soft wetness surrounding his velvet steel, holding him like a fist, even as he moves into me...then out of...again and again...as my legs wrap around him, my arms hold him to me, and his hands brush my hair back...his eyes never leaving mine.

Every stroke into me is punctuated with a moan, but from who? My whimpers join the beautiful sounds of our coupling, and as I release everything to him, so suddenly, almost violently, his moans seem to turn into a growl, and he is filling me with more than just his hardness...

There's nothing I want more....

I KNOW A BARGAIN WHEN I SEE ONE

Well, I finally did it.

I finally shelled out the money needed to buy something I've been wanting for a while, now.

Things can get so expensive, making it difficult to get what you need.

Maybe that's why I've been crabby lately.

If I've offended anyone in my demeanor, I apologize.

The only thing now is, I'm not quite sure I bought the right one.

I think maybe next time, I'll just say what the hell....and buy the eight pack instead of the four pack.

This one may last me a month...if I'm lucky.

Fuck that.

If I was lucky I wouldn't need the batteries at all.

I WANT ONE

Two bodies joined together

Deep

So much hardness inside supple wetness

Supple, yet suckling like a baby

Sweat on skin

Arms holding as they slowly move

No words

Just looking into one another

Breathless

Deeper

Whimpers

Gasps

Tighter

Moans

Wetter

He feels it

Tighter

She cums

Fuck she cums now

Clasping

He's closer

Gripping him

So close

Her body arches against him

He has to now

No stopping it

NOW

Fuck he's lost in her again

LEWIS

A good friend needs us. Please just go say hi.

NOT AN APOLOGY

I won't apologize for anything on here..at least when it comes to something sexually explicit.

If you're under 18, you need to leave. If you're a prude and at this moment thinking of writing me a nasty comment, you need to leave.

What I wrote before this is just how I'm feeling here today.

I need to fuck.

I need to be the center of someone's very hard attention.

And I want the neighbors to hear us.

Someone help me...

PLAYTHING

I like my toys.

Not as much as a warm body and a hard cock, but a good vibrator and fresh batteries can become your friend real quick.

I like the way I can tease myself and get off so easily, or just draw it out...slowly...almost cumming...then stopping myself.

But I love the feel of a man inside me...more than anything, actually.

The other toy that I like to keep close at hand is a black eight inch rubber dildo that my ex bought me when we went to the local adult bookstore several years ago.

It's thick enough...and stiff enough...and definately available whenever I want it.

When I need bad enough, I'll sit on the edge of the bed and slowly take it inside, and the feeling I get with being filled...finally...is hard to describe. Any woman who enjoys a man knows what that feeeling is.

When I do this, I imagine it's someone I want...I need...always. He lies beneath me as I straddle him, his cock buried deep inside me, touching me there, making me squirm all over him as I whimper and moan, his hands holding my waist as I rock my body on him, never stopping.

When he hears this, he thrusts up into me as hard as he can, and I cum...again...and again.

But when I can't imagaine anything but being filled, I lay a towel over a chair and sit on my rubber cock. The harder surface makes it stand straight up without moving, and if I just need to ride for a while, my eyes closed as my head is bent back, my body practically vibrating from the sheer joy and lust I feel, the moans I make part of my release.

Now I can fuck myself, slowly and deeply, every orgasm making me want more, needing that constant current running through my hungry body, almost torturing myself with the need to have it. I have no way of stopping this...a craving that seems to take over everything, it seems to want to punish me.

I cannot get enough of my cum, and I just keep moving...riding it...cumming on it...over and over...until I'm nearly exhausted.

Sometimes...just once more...