THIS IS FOR YOU, JOHN SMITH

After all this time, to finally see you again...

Even more beautiful than before...your face...your smile....the way you look at me...

I had planned on leaning against you and just taking you in...your scent...your heart beating against my cheek...your very presence...

But I am selfish, and I want you...

Such a thoughtful lover, you please me with your mouth and your hands...and I love everything you do, but I want you...

I am so selfish...

Thank God...finally you are inside me...so deep and hard...and I have no idea how often my body reacted to yours, and I don't care...

We fit so perfectly, don't we?

Every slow, sensuous push...every deep, hard thrust...makes my body do things that only you can make it do...

I want to please you...I want to drink you and watch you above me as you give in to my mouth, but I am such a selfish woman..

I want you...

You hold onto me as we lay together, connected together in more than one way...and I watch your face as you slowly move into me, telling me you are close...I love that look...so open and honest as you begin to grow even more, and the moans you make as you give me that gift from you that I have wanted for years...that warmth and wet that I feel as you push as deep as you can...

I have you...such an intimate way to be with someone...and you lay with me for just a little while...

Before you have to shower and leave me...

And finally I can sleep...the smell of us and the feel of you wet and warm between my legs...

Knowing you do the things you do to me, does it ever make you long for me again?

I miss you already, John Smith. It goes without saying...all you have to do is say...soon.

SINCE I MOVED AWAY

I have received quite an education.

I know who my true friends are. I know who I can trust, and who I thought I could trust.

I miss my friends. I miss my family.

I still miss him.

Nothing will become of it. I have learned that now. I have dealt with the tears, the depression, the anger.

I'm ready to make a new life. New job, new friends, new everything.

Since moving here, I have tried to meet others, tried to find someone I could enjoy being with sexually. Unfortunately, there haven't been too many that want the job, so to speak. It seems some guys just can't handle a lot of affection. I think they think I am getting serious.

I'm not getting serious. I am not that gullible. I learned a long time ago that love at first sight is just some romantic notion, and that no matter how much you enjoy someone, you just can't get too attached.

However, lust is a totally differnt animal.

Lust will make you do things you wouldn't do otherwise. It will take over your senses (and sometimes common sense), and turn one into a sexual vampire. At least, that's what it makes me feel like.

I get hungry...ravenous, even. I want and I want NOW.

This is, of course, perfect when you have a partner you can share it with. How lucky can one be when the other has such a need to fuck and do it constantly? To meet someone you are attracted to and complete that meeting with a union of such intensity you can hardly breathe.

If it happens to be somewhere that other people may frequent at times, well then, so be it.

To be caught...just may be the ultimate thrill.

THREE YEARS

Three years since I've been on here. I guess I was under the impression I had my shit together, so to speak.

Does anyone ever get it together?

I have looked at posts from the past and all the people who used to visit me here. They, too seem to have found life a bit overwhelming at times.

I hope they find their way back.

I think I am going to stay awhile...again.

WTF??

I have been trying to date once in a while, but any man that is even worth talking to seems to be few and far between.

Once again I've given my heart to someone, this man having been a friend for several years, now. Unfortunately circumstances make things difficult...plus the fact that I still assume things that aren't really happening...and that this man believe's he can't love again.

So until I am able to prove to him I am the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, I will go on the occasional date.

HOWEVER...

Why is it so hard to believe that I don't like being with someone that is always drinking? I actually had one guy in my truck wanting to know if it was ok to bring a can of beer along.

Do I look stupid? Do I look that desperate?

I just want to feel like a man wants to be with me and doesn't have to get blitz.

If you have to tell me you don't get drunk, you just have a few...if you look forward to drinking every night...if you have to compromise as to how many you HAVE to have with your date...you have a problem.

Maybe I seem to be a bit overzealous at my age.

I am more sexual than I have ever been...and if someone thinks he's going to get anything from me with a problem like that, he's mistaken.

WORDS OF WISDOM?

Friendship may often end in love, but love in friendship, never.

Lewis said that in his post of yesterday, and it has caused such a flood of emotion I can barely type this.

It's been over a year, now, almost two. I was the one that broke it off, and it was the only time he showed how he felt.

It was too late. Too many times he'd let me down. Too many times I was ignored and treated as though I wasn't good enough for his family.

I fell out of that notion of love I'd held onto for years, always looking forward to the day when everything came together.

Now things are different, and although I don't want what we had, I want to be friends.

LONELY SUNDAY

There's nothing I want more right now than to be touched.

It could be a hand in my hair, lips on my throat, or something more.

His body on mine, just looking into my eyes.

Enjoying my begging...wanting him to enter me.

But he'll be patient...enjoying this.

He will always know what I want...and yet make me wait.

This will excite him, knowing I want him, need him.

Yet I also have a way to tease...to make him want.

It will backfire on him, so to speak.

His push up into me, slow and steady, will make me moan, almost with relief.

It doesn't take me long.

It hardly ever takes me long to cum that first time.

I've always been that way, and I love the way it seems to take a lover by surprise.

But it's the second, and the third, and that really intense, constant grip I get when I am so ready.

And, of course, he is so deep and hard.

The look on his face, when he was in control just moments ago, but now, now he's lost it.

Now there's no one in control anymore, because no one is going to stop this.

No one wants to stop this.

I consider myself very fortunate to be able to do this...and to know my lover is enjoying it, too.

The way he grunts, groans, gasps and whispers...how good I feel...how wet/tight/hungry I am.

And when I am cumming, my body beneath his as I arch and jerk and tremble, the sound of his voice when he tells me he's close...so beautiful.

The feel of him growing, as he moans my name or maybe it's "oh fuck" or something, the way he thrusts into me harder and faster, or maybe slower, yet always deeper.

Wanting every part of me wrapped around him.



There's nothing I want more right now than to be touched...

WHO SEDUCED WHO?

He took his time, knowing how much she was enjoying this.

Long, slow strokes.

Careful not to hurt her.

Standing behind her as she sat on the bed with her legs crossed, he ran his fingers through her long, thick auburn hair after each stroke of the brush. Her head tilted back just a bit, eyes closed, she had a slight smile on her face.

As he gathered her hair in his hand, the tips of his fingers brushed across her cheek. He saw her gasp, a slight intake of breath, then a quiet sigh as she relaxed again.

He watched the rise and fall of her breathing, the way her full breasts filled the front of her shirt, slightly open at the top, and the way her nipples seemed to have become more pronounced.

He was getting hard.

He lay the brush down on the bed, and placing one hand on her shoulder, he gently traced a path down her cheek with the other. This time her gasp was more pronounced. Her breathing was becoming deeper, and she leaned into his open palm when he lay it against her skin.

He was surprised when her hand came up to take his. She held it as she kissed his palm, making him gasp as she brushed her lips over his fingertips. Once again she pressed against his hand, whispering "thank you."

Now he was completely, painfully hard.

Before he lost his nerve, he had taken her by her shoulders and gently pushed her down on the bed, close to the edge, one knee on the other side of her hip, still standing on the floor with the other leg, one arm next to her, holding him up as he leaned over her. She looked up at him in surprise, and maybe a little fear. His face close to hers, he also saw the longing she felt.

Just a couple of inches away, he looked into her eyes, and his hand started to unbutton her shirt. They never looked away from one another, and he deliberately brushed against her hardened nipple, making her whimper. He leaned down closer, his mouth a breath away, never taking his eyes from hers. This time his thumb brushed across that same spot, bare now. There was no mistaking an accident, and she closed her eyes and moaned.

"Look at me.." he whispered, and she did as she was told, her heart racing, her breathing quick and deep. His hand came up and gently touched her cheek again as his lips touched hers, still looking into her eyes, and he knew he was going to be lost to her.

When he felt her move up against him, when she opened her mouth just a bit and their kiss became more...when he pressed his body down on hers just enough for her to feel him, her arms reaching up to hold him, to pull him closer...and when he felt her open her legs to him, feeling her heat even through his jeans, he knew he was lost.

He didn't care if he ever found his way back.